The Waiting Game

Well, my "scheduled" induction has come and gone. The hospital was too full today and so we will try again first thing tomorrow morning. I have my alarm set to 6am so I can call and see if there is space available for me. In other words, hurry up and wait.

To be honest, I really don't want to be induced. I hear all these pitocin horror stories and I just want Matteo to come the normal way. Go into labor, work through it, push, push, push, have a baby. The hospital and the OB are there just in case something goes awry but otherwise, I view them as unnecessary. Perhaps I should have found a midwife for this pregnancy but its too late for that now. I never thought I would make it this far - its rather odd to be on the other side, waiting for a baby to come instead of praying it stays in. And I know, no matter what, once he comes everyone will be happy, blah, blah, blah. As long as he's healthy, blah, blah, blah. But I think its unfair how people discount the unique experience of giving birth. Of course I want a healthy baby and of course I will be happy as soon as he comes out but that doesn't change the fact that I also have certain feelings about his actual birth. About my labor and my body and my experience.

I have tried some things to help get labor going but to no avail. LOTS of walking (hello, I have two 20 month olds!), eating spicy food, nipple stimulation (via the good old breast pump - and boy, was that weird after all this time). But still, nothing. Though, some progress has been made. As of Tuesday, I was almost 2cm dilated and 70% effaced. Last night, I had my "bloody show" - sorry if that's TMI! I'm hoping that means I am nearly 100% effaced and maybe even more dilated. Ideally, I would just go into labor tonight and not have to worry about any of the induction stuff. Only time will tell...

Here is a pic of me this afternoon, 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Holy belly!


Off to try and get some sleep. Lord knows I will need it if they take me in tomorrow!

We're Ready!

With Matteo's due date officially on the horizon (tomorrow!!!), we have just finally finished preparing for his arrival. Not that all of it was necessary but I'm glad that everything on my "get done before you have this baby" wish list is actually complete. Even a pedicure! (Thanks, Fav Auntie!).

Matteo's room is not 100% tidied up but beyond ready for what he will need. I still have some hand-me-downs to wash but they are mostly 12-month clothes so no rush. Otherwise, we're ready to go. Sheets are clean, dresser is built and full, windows are dressed, etc., etc. As promised, here is a picture of the finished product:

Hopefully you can make out that it is a jungle theme - Fav Auntie even got us some real-life animal photos that are hanging above the dresser.

But before Matteo gets whisked away to this magical jungle, he gets the privilege of sleeping in my closet. Yes, he will be bunking in there, in a bassinet, so I can easily get up to feed him but we have a door to keep his baby noises a little quieter while we try to sleep. Here is the set up so far, complete with glider:


Hopefully, this will work out for us. Most people I mentioned it to were not horrified, as I imagined they might be, but agreed that it was a good idea. We shall see.

In birth plan/VBAC news, my OB is letting me go until Wednesday before trying to induce with pitocin. In the meantime, I have an non-stress test and ultrasound scheduled for Monday and an appointment with her scheduled on Tuesday. I was only 1cm dialated and 50% effaced at my appointment this past Wednesday so there is a chance it could come down to my being induced. I hope that's not the case, though. We are hoping for him to make his way on Sunday. It's a very special day on the Mayan calendar (don't ask...) and my mom has the day off so win-win.

For now, I'm off to bed, thinking contracting thoughts. We're ready Tater Tot - are you??

Not Yet

I realize I have not posted in a while and thought that might give the impression that I was too busy having a baby to blog. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Still very much pregnant through yet another heat wave. F*** you, summer!

Quick updates, as it's late and I'm sleepy:

Next OB appointment is Wednesday where I will get another internal exam and hopefully get some reconfirmation that Matteo is head down. Also, I spoke with my OB about different scenarios and it seems that there is certainly wiggle room on when I can go into labor - she will let me go up to about a week late, depending on other factors. She also said if need be, we could try inducing with Pitocin but nothing stronger than that. So, good news for a VBAC.

Also, I feel gross writing this but I want to be an honest pregnant woman and tell it like it is. Sometimes, it feels like the baby is pushing down so much he might fall out. The closest comparison I can make is when you put a tampon in but can still feel it, like you did it wrong and didn't get it in the right way. Like I said, gross but honest. It's a very odd feeling and one I'm hoping means that he is almost ready to make his debut.

In toddler news, Sebastian and Collette have both "learned" a number. That number is 2. They skipped right over 1 which I suppose is appropriate, with them being twins and all. I guess that means they should hurry up and learn 3. Sebastian also knows the letter C. Not sure if Collette knows that one as she is not as eager to label things - she is way too cool for that. They are adding vocabulary more quickly, in general, but still not putting two words together so still much progress to make on the speech front. Quite frankly, I'm not that worried about it anymore. They understand so much of what I say and what Billy says to them in Spanish that I think the rest is just a matter of time. We'll continue speech therapy as long as they qualify through EI because I like the services and the feedback but I won't be stressing about it. I have enough to worry about with a baby on the way! :)

Last thing - we are almost done Matteo's room so I will post pictures soon. It's livable but we still have some decorative things to put up.

Stay cool! I'm off to Lala-land...

38 Weeks and Counting

I just got back from my OB appointment and not much going on. She didn't do an internal exam and I got the impression that she wouldn't do another one. Blood pressure and weight were fine and no protein in the urine so still smooth sailing.

Also, I must have misunderstood when she said I would have an ultrasound around 38 weeks because she said they will do one when I get to the hospital and am in labor to double check the Matteo's position. If at that point they see that he is breech, they will get the OR ready for a repeat c-section. To be honest, I'm kind of bummed because I would like a little more heads up than that. Either way, I'm sure everything will be fine but I am mentally preparing for a VBAC and will be very disappointed if I can't have one.

I realized I haven't talked a lot about why I am so intent on having this baby the old-fashioned way. So, here are my reasons:

1. My first c-section was traumatic. Not so much the operation itself, although that was no fun. Being pinned down crucifix-style and vomiting off to the side while your baby is being born is not what we all dream about. The recovery was the really traumatic part, most of which had to do with my blood pressure/preeclampsia but still. Those memories will always be associated with the c-section and its hard for me to separate the two. I'm sure labor will be painful like I can't even imagine but so was trying to walk to the bathroom for the first time after the twins were born. It was excruciating and humiliating and not something I want to relive, regardless of how painful labor will be. I'd rather have the pain giving birth than after the baby is here. I don't want my pain to get in the way of caring for him. (I know that I probably won't experience that same kind of pain if I have a c-section this time, but like I said, it's hard for me to separate the two in my mind)
2. I'm curious to know what labor feels like. That may sound silly but it's the truth.
3. I'd rather let Matteo come on his time than on my time. Having premature babies who had no interest in leaving the womb, this issue is a sensitive one for me. So, if he wants to cook until the end of July, so be it! (Although I'd be cool if he were ready to come some time next week. I promise I'll have clean clothes for you, TaterTot)
4. I don't like doctors and an operation involves a lot more doctors than a traditional birth. I assume that there is more doctor follow up after as well, but that's just my guess. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
   

And here is my latest belly picture, taken at 37 weeks, 1 day (I'm 38 weeks as of tomorrow). Holy stretch marks!


I look so much bigger than last month. Yikes!

Thanks Auntie Stacey!

Fav Auntie (Auntie Stacey, my oldest little sister) has been in town from San Diego for a visit since Thursday. She has so many people to see when she comes home but, of course, the twins got more than their fair share of Auntie time.

Yesterday, Fav Auntie came with us to the local lake so the kids could play at the beach. The water and the shade kept us all very comfortable and the kids had a good time, naturally.

Sebastian is checking out the scene

Collette is showing Stacey how to drown stuffed animals

Today, I drove into Boston with the kids and we met Stacey at the aquarium. This was Sebastian and Collette's first visit and they did such a good job! They were remarkably self-disciplined and kept requesting to go back in their stroller. Certainly made getting around to all the exhibits much easier. Of all the things we saw, the penguins were probably their favorite. Collette really liked touching the sea stars (apparently, they are NOT starfish) while Sebastian was not so much excited about touching the marine life. And they loved the Curious George baby/kid room where they could repeatedly dump out a bucket of plastic play fish, fill it up, repeat.

Sebastian demonstrating that touching is fine so long as there is thick glass in the way.

First look at the penguins. Of course the only kid looking at the camera isn't mine.

Collette about to give the penguin statue a kiss.

Collette and Stacey meeting some sea creatures

As a gift to Auntie Stacey for coming out to visit, both Sebastian and Collette say her name! Their pronunciation leaves a lot to be desired but considering how picky they are about the words the will attempt, it is a great honor!

We'll miss you, Auntie, and can't wait for you to come back home in September!!