Well, my "scheduled" induction has come and gone. The hospital was too full today and so we will try again first thing tomorrow morning. I have my alarm set to 6am so I can call and see if there is space available for me. In other words, hurry up and wait.
To be honest, I really don't want to be induced. I hear all these pitocin horror stories and I just want Matteo to come the normal way. Go into labor, work through it, push, push, push, have a baby. The hospital and the OB are there just in case something goes awry but otherwise, I view them as unnecessary. Perhaps I should have found a midwife for this pregnancy but its too late for that now. I never thought I would make it this far - its rather odd to be on the other side, waiting for a baby to come instead of praying it stays in. And I know, no matter what, once he comes everyone will be happy, blah, blah, blah. As long as he's healthy, blah, blah, blah. But I think its unfair how people discount the unique experience of giving birth. Of course I want a healthy baby and of course I will be happy as soon as he comes out but that doesn't change the fact that I also have certain feelings about his actual birth. About my labor and my body and my experience.
I have tried some things to help get labor going but to no avail. LOTS of walking (hello, I have two 20 month olds!), eating spicy food, nipple stimulation (via the good old breast pump - and boy, was that weird after all this time). But still, nothing. Though, some progress has been made. As of Tuesday, I was almost 2cm dilated and 70% effaced. Last night, I had my "bloody show" - sorry if that's TMI! I'm hoping that means I am nearly 100% effaced and maybe even more dilated. Ideally, I would just go into labor tonight and not have to worry about any of the induction stuff. Only time will tell...
Here is a pic of me this afternoon, 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Holy belly!
Off to try and get some sleep. Lord knows I will need it if they take me in tomorrow!