When I tell people about the upcoming trip, they immediately try to assuage my guilt, saying things like, "Oh, it will be so hard to leave them but you'll have such a good time" or "Don't feel guilty - you deserve it!" Then I try not to make a rude face because all I can think is, "are you on crack?" I never have the chance to miss my children. If anything, I get an overdose! I know they are my children and I love more than words can say, but time apart is a good thing. And I'm being completely honest when I say every last little fiber of me feels that way. There is no little voice making me feel bad for going away. No pangs of guilt. No 1%.
I'm a bit surprised at the reactions I got. Am I the only mom who feels this way? Surely there are other people who don't feel guilty leaving their kids 4 nights (or more, if you're lucky) in 15 months. I understand mommy guilt, especially when you don't spend as much time with your kids as you'd like. I don't think anyone should have to feel guilty for the choices they make when their family's best interest is at heart, but I understand it happens anyway. In this case though, I don't understand why someone would feel guilty. Then again, I'm not winning any awards for sentimentality, so...
Would you feel guilty? Or would you just blow a kiss and be on your merry way?
blow a kiss and PEACE OUT! you are a stay at home mom! there's absolutely no reason to feel guilty. i'm glad you're getting to go!! who is the friend, lena??
ReplyDeleteTime away is not only good for you, but it's important for your kiddos too! I need to get away once in a while... in-fact I am way overdue! I think some people are jealous that others have an opportunity to get away, family/friends willing to help out and watch the kids etc... it's just there way of attempting to make you feel guilty about something they wish they could do also! Oh and honestly, do you think that they would be asking the same questions of Billy, if he were going away with friends for a few days??
ReplyDeleteUgh, I could go on... my mom's only overnight time away from her kids was when she was in the hospital, having another kid (she reminds me of this often)... maybe that's why she had 6 kids!! I never hear the end of it... "you're going out again?" Why yes, I am... and I am a better mom, because of it!!
Have fun, you deserve it!!
Have a blast! While I will admit to some pangs of guilt, I am ALL ABOUT getting some space. You need it, and the kids benefit from it too. Not only do they get some time with someone else who loves them, but then they get a happier, more-rested mommy. It's an all around win, and I think it's awesome that you feel good about it. YOU SHOULD!
ReplyDeleteI was so happy to have my first business trip when Cameron was almost six months old. The pumping, on the other hand, was not ideal for traveling. Now that I'm not BFing I can really enjoy business trips. I love it! I only feel guilt if she's sick. But I figure it's good for Cameron and my husband to bond too.
ReplyDeleteI say give a kiss and don't look back. You will be more appreciated when you get home and more rested/relaxed and ready to face those early wake up calls with even more zest! I could use a nite (or 5 away), haven't gotten away since the summer, and still living off those refreshing memories!
ReplyDeleteI didn't feel any guilt on my first night away or any of my successive trips without the girls. Not one tiny bit.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your trip to my home state. :)
I felt a little guilt when my kids went to Grandma and Grandpa's, but I got over it in a hurry.
ReplyDeleteI have to wonder if men get the same reaction. I suspect that people don't tell me husband not to feel guilty when he leaves for wars and training, or even to play golf!
I wouldn't feel guilt at all. I think it might be a tad unhealthy for your children to know that you are so dependent on them that you can't leave for a few days. It would put on major pressure for the little ones.
ReplyDeleteUnless, the guilt is for the husband that is being left to care for the little ones on his own, then I think it will do him some good. I think that fathers need some alone time with their children to really work out their bonding and relationship. My husband always loves alone time with the kids so he can do things "dada's way". :)
Have so much fun!
Have fun! I wish I had the chance to leave them for 4 days...I would kiss them, hug them, cry when I left...but damn it, I would leave and have fun!!
ReplyDeleteI work full time and would still enjoy a weekend away without guilt. One probing question - is Billy on his own or did you "line up" help? Lining up help is a sure sign of guilt... after all, you can handle it on your end! The only tme I feel guilty is when I have to work all weekend since it feels somewhat unplanned and that I'm thrusting Aaron into the single dad role. He shrugs it off - doesn't seem resentful.
ReplyDeleteyou so so deserve it...blow a kiss and have a blast!!! I have not been away from the kids for more than a few hours and I really really need it
ReplyDeleteI'll admit when they were young and I went on my first (and maybe second) getaway, yes there was guilt. Or maybe it was concern? But now...no way! See ya in a couple o' days, kidlets! I haven't read all the comments but I agree with Fave Auntie and Tanya...you're a SAHM so getting away is a necessity for sanity (both yours and the kids) and remembering that you are a *person* as well as a mom. Have a FAB TIME!
ReplyDeleteBe on your MERRY WAY, girl! Have fun!!
ReplyDeleteSaw your comment about the Wagon Shelf... I got it from PB Kids online on super sale. I guess they're sold out- darn!!
I totally agree with you...there's no reason to feel guilty about enjoying some time away. Just because we are moms now doesn't mean we don't deserve some sort of life of our own also! Even if you were feeling a little guilty, what business is it of anyone else's? : )
ReplyDeleteI would totally blow a kiss and peace out. YOU DESERVE IT. Have fun and gove Lena a hug. Kav
ReplyDelete