Here's the thing: I'm not upset, or even surprised, that I can't find a sitter. When I had kids, I didn't expect to be able to go out whenever I wanted. That's part of the parenting deal, in my opinion. My problem is that the rest of the world - all those people who have not had to find someone they trust with their offspring's well being - thinks that it's easy to just hire a sitter. In a sense it is. I'm sure I could just pull some poor slob off the street, throw $30-$50 at him/her and be on my way. But I'd like to think I'm a little more selective than that. And many people think that if you have family and friends close by that its sooo easy to find a sitter. The fact of the matter is, family and friends - even paid help - all have lives, as they well should. Just because they are close doesn't mean they are free, even if you're willing to coax them with free food, untaxed income and lots of love from snugly pug. And its not like I can have a babysitter on retainer and whenever I need her she has to come over. If only! Alas, our world does not work this way. In the meantime, I will just roll my eyes when someone says, "can't you just hire a sitter??"
I so hear you on the family thing! Everyone thinks that you can just have family come over any time you need. I also have a sense of guilt asking my parents or sister to babysit too much.
ReplyDeleteNO kidding right? I have one option for a babysitter myself, sometimes 2 if I'm lucky. I don't trust them with just anyone, or I could go out more. But me and DH are perfectly happy at home. :)
ReplyDeleteThe only ones that I would trust with 3 so close in age is family, and then it's mostly my mom. It's free sitting, but I hate asking and we don't do it often. My mom is more than willing, but I feel so guilty asking. I can't imagine how much it would cost to have a night put and pay a sitter and then hope that they actually are good. Like you said this is just part of having kids and we just change how we spend our free time, like having people over to our house since we are the only ones with little kids.
ReplyDeleteThe only sitter I trust is one who used to work at my daughter's daycare. She knows Cameron, works in a licensed daycare and still I would prefer to put Cameron to bed first and then go out, leaving her nothing to do but watch TV. I broke that rule for my birthday and let her put Cameron down for bed. It went pretty well so I think I might try it again.
ReplyDeleteI can hardly believe this...but we didn't have a non-family sitter until the boys were 18 months. Now, I have the name of one local gal...who I had to call once in an emergency. But the one thing I have figured out is the whole mom swap thing...I don't even mind returning the favor. It usually turns out to be a quiet night for me:)
ReplyDeleteI had JUST this conversation with my therapist earlier today. As a grandmother, you'd think she'd know better.
ReplyDeleteI have had amazing luck with the girls' daycare assistants (HS and college age). If you ARE in the market for a sitter, consider asking local daycare centers if you can post an advertisement. The centers will usually have conducted background checks and trained them in basic childcare.
Ya, its not so much having a sitter as having a sitter available when you need one. I have had 3 different people that I pay to watch my kids but there are days where they are all just busy and can't do it. I really like our usual sitter but it's not like she can always be free. Same goes for family and friends. I guess, for me, that the hardest part.
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