Ok, maybe I am overreacting. It's been known to happen. But I am seriously put off by a seemingly harmless email someone sent to our mother of twins club listserv. There was been this thread about delivering twins, started by an expecting MoT who is very close to having her babies. She was asking for advice about which way to go and, as you could imagine, she has gotten advice from both camps.
My issue is with this one responder. She started her response by saying that since she got pregnant with her twins "without any help from outside sources" that "it only made sense to deliver them without any help from outside sources" - the fuck?? Some of you are probably thinking, "um, I don't get it, what's the problem??" But you have to realize that when you are part of a mother of twins club in the wonderful state of Massachusetts where we have ART covered by insurance, you are going to be in the company of a lot of people who "needed help from outside sources." How is that supposed to make us feel?? Since we had to deal with IF and daily injections and surgeries and FAR too many vaginal ultrasounds, it "only makes sense" that we should also have some scalpel-happy OB slice through our abdomens and birth our long-awaited children that way. I mean, it only makes sense.
And what about the others who also conceived "without help from outside sources" but, for whatever reason, didn't deliver without help? Are they supposed to feel like they went against nature?
To be honest, this says far more about me than it does about this woman - I know she didn't intend to hurt anyone's feelings. But I still have a lot of not-so-fun feelings re: IF - I don't think it's something I will ever "get over" but I don't cry about it every day either. It is what it is. I also have unresolved feelings about not being able to deliver without help. It was my plan all along to have a vaginal delivery and for a number of reasons, it didn't work out that way. But even though I am a bit hypersensitive when it comes to these subjects, I don't think I'm alone in this group. And I would certainly keep that in mind before spouting off about what makes sense and what doesn't. This is a group meant for support and I think when people get too caught up in what they do/did and what they believe, they can often forget about the people they are trying to help.
PS: You don't need to tell me I'm crazy. I already know. Rant over.