Matteo, 6 months old: Milestones galore!

Holy cow - it's been half a year since we got our little Tater Tot. I almost can't believe it (how cliche of me). But it's true. This is another difference I am finding with this one - time is flying. Not sure if its because I'm so busy or because he is just one baby. I definitely never felt this way with the twins. If anything, 6 months felt like way more, not less. Anyway, I have come to the realization that I need to take way more pictures of Matteo because I will certainly forget all this baby bliss.

This past month has been a very busy one for my littlest guy. Here is what he has been up to:

• Learning to sit up. He is almost 100% there but will tip every once in a while so I like to stay close by.
• Sleeping unswaddled. He kept breaking free of his swaddle during our trip so when we got home I just ditched it. It required some extra rocking to sleep at first but was a pretty easy transition overall.
• No longer the smallest. Sometime in January, Matteo surpassed Lola in the weight department, tipping the scales around 19lbs. to Lola's 18.
  
• Almost sleeping through the night. During our trip, he got in the bad habit of waking up twice at night (around 1 or 2 am and again at 5am). Luckily, I was able to get him to hold off until 5am (no 2am feeding) with minimal crying, just some hourly fussing. Now, he makes it until 5am without a problem and I feed him just so I can get a little bit more sleep. But even that 10pm - 5am stretch has been so lovely.
• Playing with toys. This past month has been great for him in terms of grabbing, shaking and chewing his toys. A lot of it goes hand in hand with sitting up. he likes to sit and just pick up what ever is in front of him and investigate it.
• Rolling. He has only done it a few times but at least he has done it. Just back to belly so far.
  

Here's his chair picture, which is actually a couch picture that my sister took. But at least we got a shot of him on the actual day (yesterday, February 3).

Two vs. One: Part 2

More on my thoughts about how my one baby is, as expected, way easier than two. Part 1 here.

Nursing vs. Bottle Feeding/Pumping

I hope I don't get any grief for saying so but nursing your baby is way easier than bottle feeding and especially easier than bottle feeding AND pumping. Now, don't get me wrong - I know that getting good at nursing can be really, really hard. Especially with twins. Especially with baby(ies) born early who won't latch. That being said, once you have figured things out, it is so much simpler to just pop a boob in a baby's mouth than prepare a bottle (pump and/or mix formula) and then have to worry about cleaning said bottles. So much of our time in the first month or so was devoted to those fucking bottles. And pump parts. I felt like I was living in a sea of plastic. After two months, when I finally became fed up with things and realized I would need to manage my time better once I was on my own with the twins, I figured out some short cuts to the bottle/pump madness. But even then, it's way more work than nursing a baby.

There are the downsides. No one else can feed Matteo for me. (He has only had 3 or 4 bottles in his little life). There is just a bit of anxiety over nursing in public. He still eats more often than the twins ever did. There is no real way to do it in the car, which has been an issue more times than I would have expected. But on the whole, life is so simple this way. I don't have to worry about being out too long with the twins because I don't have a bottle for the baby. I never have to run to the store because I ran out of formula or bottle liners.

I don't know how I would feel if I had the experience of nursing twins to compare this to. I imagine its very difficult to do that out in public, if only that it takes twice as long which might be uncomfortable for some. But in the first few months with the twins, I was inside most of the time anyway, just getting out for quick errands like Bjs or going for long walks, usually right after they ate. I would love to hear what moms of twins think about their successful nursing experience. Did you often feel like it was harder than bottle feeding would have been? Or did you think you had it easier because you were able to nurse?

Two vs. One: Part 1

When I announced that I was expecting for the second time, everyone's first question was, "is it twins again?!" to which I answered a very relieved "no!" Their next comment to me was always something along the lines of, "well, one baby will seem so easy compared to twins!" And that's what I was hoping, too. I didn't want to jinx myself and end up with a colicky baby so I tried to keep hush about it. Now that Matteo is here (and more than 3 months old!) I no longer have to worry about that. He's no longer a newborn and I can now compare notes from his first 12 weeks with the twins' newborn days.

As expected, having one baby is way easier than having two. For me, it's so much more than just a question of two vs. one. I always said that I was grateful to have two (mostly) happy newborns and not one very fussy one. So, here is what really stands out to me as the difference makers in my own two vs. one experience.

Preemie vs. Full-term:

Sebastian and Collette came nearly 6 weeks early and that impacted a lot of what we had to do for them as parents. Going back and forth to the NICU, measuring their every ml of formula-enhanced breast milk, lots and lots of doctor visits. It was the main reason I pumped instead of nursed. Having two preemies was scary and stressful, for the most part.

But, as new parents, I must say that there were nice things about it, too. The nurses taught us so much about how to care for a newborn and they got the twins on a wonderful eating schedule that made sleep very possible for both of us. With Matteo, the nurses didn't show me anything with the baby. I got no CPR training, no lesson on how to bathe the baby. Hardly any free stuff. And then two days after giving birth, they kicked us out. Of course, I left the hospital with an 8lb. baby who could nurse without any issues so it was fine. I would take a full-term baby over a preemie any day but there were a few benefits (for us) to the latter.

Overall, I worry much less about Matteo and a lot of it has to do with how he started his little life. Some of it has to do with now being an experienced parent, which I'll get into in a separate post, but mostly I trust nature to take its course with him. With Sebastian and Collette, I still find myself using their adjusted age in my head sometimes. Not sure when that will go away...

(Of course, not all twins are preemies so this experience is certainly not universal for twins and their moms. And there are lots of singletons born prematurely, as well.)

Stay tuned for Part 2. I gotta spread this one out if I'm going to make through my mini-NaBloPoMo.

Spoiled or Neglected?

I go back and forth thinking that my Matteo is one of these two extremes. Although lately it's leaning more toward neglected. Poor guy.

When we first brought him home, he got all my attention. Nursed every two hours. Was held all the time. Snuggled with me in bed. Rarely sat in a swing or bouncy chair. And now that he is older and I'm on my own with all three, he still gets held a lot, at least compared to the twins when they were his age. When we are out and about, he gets to ride in the Ergo instead of being in a stroller. Being just one baby, its so easy to have him with me, on me, all the time. I feel like he's mine. I don't have to share him with anyone. A momma's boy in the making!

Matteo, 2 weeks old, napping in our bed

But then there is the neglect that comes with being a third child to a harried mommy. Lately, he has been spending a lot of time on his play-mat. I did the same thing with the twins, but I usually "played" with them, took their picture, talked to them. When I put Tater on his mat, I go off and do 100 other things, 99 of them for his brother and sister. I have so few pictures of him, its embarrassing. I drag him all over the place - play dates, gymnastics class, EI play group, errands - with little respect for his nap schedule*. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up. At some point (soon), it will be too hard to just treat him like luggage.

Will History Repeat Itself?

This seems to the question on many a commenter's mind as of late: Will it be twins, again? Of course, I won't know for sure until we see an ultrasound but all signs point to NO! Thank the sweet Lord. Strangely, many of my MOT friends have secret fantasies about having another set. I think they are crazy. I mean, don't get me wrong - if I find out its twins, I'll love them just as I would one baby. But there is not even one little piece of me that wishes it were twins. I'm really looking forward to a "normal" singleton pregnancy. And hopefully one baby won't take the same toll on my body that two did.

So, how do I know it's not twins? Well for those of you who don't know, we have used IVF for both pregnancies, this last one a single FET. We know there is just one embie in there - if it does end up being twins, they will definitely be identical. And run the risk of sharing a placenta and/or sac, both higher risk situations than my fraternal twin pregnancy. Also, the hormone levels (HCG, to be exact) does not indicate twins. Just hints at a very healthy, singleton pregnancy. Of course, I will sleep sounder once we see the nugget on the screen and see the heartbeat. Hopefully that will happen sometime next week.

In the meantime, thank you all for your well wishes. We are so thrilled to be adding another baby to our family.



PS - we are due July 25th! Now I have to wrap my brain around the concept of being pregnant for the whole 40 weeks. Hrm...