The Potty Gods are already smiting me...

...and I haven't even started using the potties! I was *thinking* about using the potties - I guess that was enough to incur their wrath.

Having heard a million potty stories, from ones about 4 months olds signaling to use the potty to ones about 4 year olds refusing to use it, I decided I should join in on the fun. I figured, maybe if I start early, no pressure, I might be pleasantly surprised and if I wasn't, no harm done because I really don't care yet. So, this afternoon we bought four $5 potties at KMart. Two green, two beige - Sebastian "chose" the beige and Collette therefore ended up with green.

We got home, got settled and I thought now is as good a time as any to put them on the new potties. I brought Collette into the bathroom and told her what we were going to do (like she cared...). Off came the shorts and then the diaper. And there was poop. FML. No wipes in arm's reach - just toilet paper which, let me tell you, is no match for mushed up toddler poop. I wiped her as best I could and put her on the potty (why not!) while I went to find wipes and a diaper. On my way out of the bathroom, I noticed that Sebastian had not only removed his shorts (they're a bit too big) but also his diaper, which he has never before done. And it, too, had poop. And most of that poop and escaped the diaper and was on my kitchen floor. FML again. For those of you keeping score, I now had two diaperless children with poopy bottoms, zero diapers and zero wipes. Oh, and one dog who seemed all too eager to sniff, and maybe even eat, the poop.

All this and we hadn't even really TRIED the potties! Part of me thinks this is a sign that I should stop all thoughts regarding the potty. But a bigger part of me realizes that this is not that crazy a thing to have happen with two toddlers. Plus, we all need a good poop story. And quite frankly, I've heard better. Hopefully, we can try again tomorrow and not get sidetracked by dirty diapers. Wish me luck. Ha!

I Hate Technology and Pugs

Because we realized we are horrible parents (and a horrible mom blogger), Billy and I finally charged the camera and video camera to help get through 30 posts in 1 month - and to document our kids lives, of course. I was all excited and busted out the video camera this morning to get some action shots of the twins doin' their thing. Mostly crawling and chewing stuff but there was bound to be a memorable moment if I waited long enough.

Lucky for me, Sebastian started to play with the dog which, if you haven't seen it before, is quite cute. Now that they know which toys are the dog toys, they can properly taunt her. He had her bone and was holding it in front of her while she was biting it but he wouldn't let it go. Baby-pug-tug-'o-war is definitely video-worthy to a mom. Anyway, I was psyched to post about how awesome it is to have your pug entertain your 11 month old and vice-versa. A few hours later when I was ready to upload this awesome video, I realized that the cord that connects the video camera to computer was gone. Dust in the wind. Probably in the same black hole all the missing socks go.

But now, that doesn't even matter. Because I take it back. Pugs are not like a free babysitter for your kid while you watch the Pats game. Oh no! Because while you are cheering your team on, the dog is throwing up the food she didn't even chew and then your daughter is eating it. And then you catch her and scream bloody murder and throw up in your mouth a little bit and only narrowly avoid reenacting that scene from Stand By Me where they show everyone projectile vomiting after the pie eating contest.

So, screw you, Technology, and screw you, Pug, for ruining what should have been a very fun, uplifting, family friendly post.

Finally, some *solid* solid food

My days of pureeing fruits and veggies are by no means over. But we have added some actual solids to the babies' solid food menu. 8 months is just around the corner and I figured, what the hell, close enough!

I got a 3-ton box of cheerios at BJs and assume it will last me until enroll the twins in preschool. At least at the rate they are going. Their pincer grasp is not so much developed yet so success has been limited. Unless you define success as feeding Lola Cheerios. I'm pretty sure that's how Lola defines it.

Sebastian's method of eating Cheerios is to completely ignore the fact that he has an opposable thumb and simply scratch the food tray. This mostly results in Cheerios reaching the far edges of the tray, totally out of reach, or Cheerios flicked onto the floor for Lola. See! Success.

Collette's method is a bit more advanced although she lacks in follow-through. She uses the stickiness of her hand to get Cheerios onto her palms. Then, she brings her hand to her mouth. However, her hand doesn't actually touch her mouth - it comes close and then she starts to chew air. Her hand then falls to her side, Cheerios fall to floor for Lola. More success!!

My next attempt at solid baby food was pasta. This would have to turn out better because I can still feed it to them on a spoon. Well, little grasshopper, you are wrong again! I've heard about all these babies making themselves throw up because they don't like the texture of some food they're eating. And now, my Sebastian gets to join this not-so-exclusive club. And I get to join the not-so-exclusive club of moms who have to clean up multi-colored alphabet pasta throw up.

So, how long does this last? When will they start to get the hang of non-pureed, non-liquid nourishment?

Mastitis and Canine Hemorrhoids

OK, so I think the title has given you all the info you really need. My lovely staycation has been interrupted by me getting some kind of infected blister on my boobage (thanks Medela!) which pretty much knocked me on my ass all day. Saw the Dr., got some antibiotics and will be fine in a day or so. Resting until then.

Later on, when Billy got back from Daddy Duty, talking the twins and the pug on their daily jaunt, he notified me of the giant hemorrhoid Lola had - and it was bleeding. Oh Joy! Called the vet, she said to bring the dog in. Well, 20 minutes and $160 later, they were back with instructions and medications. One antibiotic, one topical ointment and one other ointment which must be...inserted. And we have to come back in one week to check it out again. We also have to add Metamucil to her food. So, apparently she is a 75 year old trapped in a pug's body.

So, please don't come to our house because you will have a 2 in 5 chance of developing some sort of sore or boil on your body.

Thursday Theater: New Favorite Toy

The best toys require no batteries, no winding up, no plugging in. They just require daily walks, kibble and love:







I apologize for the quality of this video - AuntieKim took it on her phone in a dark room. Still cute though!

Check out some other videos over at Goddess in Progress!

Vacation Practice: Take 1

As all things with the twins require a bit of practice, we did our first trial run of outdoor playtime/feeding time yesterday. It was so nice and warm, I simply couldn't resist. And we leave for the Cayman Islands in just a couple of weeks so we definitely need to practice! I set up the sun dome with boppies and toys for tummy time and their car seats for feeding. They were starving so I fed them first. They had no problem eating outside and were ready to play once their tummies were full.

Collette, rocking the Gilligan look - she refused to wear the elastic band hat. She always has her tongue out, a habit she must have picked up from Lola.

Sebastian didn't mind his elastic band hat. They are so geeky, they're cute! He's spying a toy in front of Collette. And so begins twin toy envy...

Lola had to mark her territory and get in on the photo action. After all, the backyard is her turf!

I was diligent about keeping the babies out of the sun. That was smart because once I got inside, I realized I had quite the sunburn on my arms and shoulders. Never expected that from April in New England...

Hope everyone else is enjoying the weekend. We are going to try solid food today so I'll be sure to post about that tomorrow!!

Friday Foto Finish Fiesta: the Cadbury Baby?

My favorite thing about Easter is the Cadbury Creme Egg. I have loved them since I was kid and have no shame eating countless eggs as an adult. I also love the commercial, where the turtle and the lion (and some other animals...) all try out for the Cadbury Creme Egg Bunny role. I'm going to try to get Lola to wear bunny ears but I'm not banking on a successful outcome. She is faster than my camera and historically uncooperative. Stupid pug.

In the meantime, I dusted off this old photo of my nephew, Ben, and his Cadbury Bunny audition. Now, tell me you wouldn't hire him??

Join in the Foto Fun at Candid Carrie's and see some other great fotos!

Adventures in Baby-Shopping

For those of you who know me, it goes without saying that I'm a bargain hunter. I really hate to spend a lot of money on things and I get VERY excited over a good deal. I was always that girl who was like, "Guess how much I paid for this??? 50 CENTS!!!!!!!!!" Ya, I kept the local Salvation Army in business for most of my high school years. Now, I baby bargain-hunt. The twins club has helped me get lots of good deals (thanks!!) and whatever I can't get there, I search for on Craigslist. I was in the market for an exersaucer, to go with the Jumperoo I got at the Twins Club Sale, and hit up Craigslist. Luckily, I found one quickly for just $20! Retails for like $85. Sa-weet.

I was too excited to wait for Billy to get home to pick it up, so I packed up the twins and the pug and hit the road. Pick-up was 30 minutes away which I thought would be perfect - an hour of babies sleeping, relaxing time for me. But of course, I forgot the directions. And then I got a bit lost. As I was getting my bearings, praying the babies don't wake up with all the stopping and starting, the dog started crying - ya, you read it right. The dog. W...T...F, Lola?? Well, that cry, in pug-speak, means "I have to go pee, NOW!" And since I'm a totally unprepared douche bag, I didn't have a leash for her. She didn't even have her collar on. Ya, I'm a winner.

Luckily, I found a little side street with just empty-looking office buildings with some grass in front. I pulled over and let the pug out. She immediately peed but then ran off, collarless, right onto the street. The abandoned office building was not quite abandoned and the workers inside were looking at me like I was some kind of asshole (the retarded, incompetent kind, I assume). While I did not have a leash, I did think to bring one of her toys, a squeaky one at that, and coaxed her back to the car with it. Runaway/roadkill crisis averted.

I found the street. Found the house. Paid the nice lady and rearranged every last thing in the car (inclduing the stroller that, if I had half a brain, i would have taken out before leaving) to fit in the exersaucer. We drove home in bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic on the way home. And here is the thanks I get for all my troubles:

Friday Foto Finish Fiesta - Caught! Bed-Headed...

While I was slaving away, making bottles, changing diapers, feeding babies, etc. yesterday morning, the little pug was snoozing. She has decided that my bed is now hers once I get up. Here she is, laying human-style, head on pillow:

Life is so tough for a pug...that walk from her dog bed to my bed is EXHAUSTING!

Maybe in my next life, I can come back as pug...

See who else is playing this week at Carrie's Friday Foto Finish Fiesta!

Wordless Wednesday: Lola's newest toy (VIDEO!)

Thursday Theater: Kickin' Up a Storm

For Theater Thursday and the "song" theme, I took a little video of my Coconut girl. Her new favorite activity is kicking the play mat to make the star light up and play songs. She entertains herself and her brother for minutes on end, and that's a lot for babies. :) And it was either this, or the twins laughing at my singing and dancing. Easy choice.

Here she is, kicking up a storm. Lola also makes a cameo - silly pug!

Be sure to stop by Goddess in Progress to see who else is playing along!

All the Way There!

I will be joining Thursday Theater later today but, first, I had to quickly share some awesome news. Well, little Sebastian, not to be outdone by his sister, slept through the night!! Hurrah!

The even better news is that Collette did, too! I got the night off...almost :) I was rudely awakened by the shuffling of a pug under the covers. I guess she decided that 4:15am is a good time to go pee and then eat breakfast. Grr. Stupid dog. SarcasticMom had the idea of microwaving her dog, so I would watch out if I were you, Lola. You might not fit in the microwave but now that I'm inspired, I'm pretty sure I could squeeze you into the crock pot.

Of course, I'm joking. How could you get mad at this face?