Makes My Monday: Super Daddy and Super Auntie!

This weekend, my Mother of Twins Club had their Spring tag sale and I was a seller for the second time. I didn't have too much but was eager to rid of some baby items as well as a plethora of plastic toys that my parents dump on me with each of their weekly visits. The sale is quite the undertaking and sellers have to set up Friday night and work from 6am Saturday morning until about 3pm that afternoon. In my absence, Daddy and Auntie Kim stepped in to look after the kiddos - Kim in charge of Matteo and Daddy with Sebastian and Collette.

Daddy took the kids to the mall and reported back that they behaved PERFECTLY! He braved the Rain Forest Cafe where they politely ate their whole lunch and, as a special surprise for me, got their picture taken with the Easter Bunny! Apparently, they loved him and each gave him a hug before saying good-bye. Figures, right? But I'm glad they are good for him because then he'll take them out solo more often.

Auntie Kim was stuck with Matteo. I say "stuck with" because, contrary to what I thought, he is just not that into his new sippy cup. I was able to nurse him right before I left in the morning but he still nurses every two hours so he had a hard time going down for his nap without me. When he woke up, Kim brought him down to the sale (thank goodness it's just down the street from my house!) and I filled up his little tank. Then she decided to show him off and met up with a friend of hers at a cafe in Davis Square. With a full belly, he behaved like the little angel he is.

Meanwhile, I had a great time at the sale. Saw all my big stuff go off to new homes and hopefully a lot of my little stuff sold, too. I donated everything that didn't sell because Billy would've divorced me if I came back with anything. I also picked up some new things for the kids - summer clothes, rain coats, a T-ball set, sand and water table, toy lawn motor (to match the one they already have and CONSTANTLY fight over), a few books and a toy car ramp. All in all, I know I made out on the plus side by quite a lot. Definitely a success all around.

Also, to propel myself back to regular postings, I am going to commit, here and now, to an overdue post for Matteo (he's 8 months old now!!!) and a Flat Twins post - all this week. Some of you know where the Flat Twins are but for those of you who don't, stay tuned! I have some very cute pics coming :)

Not Mini Mozarts

One of the things I was most looking forward to about our one-nap schedule was the freedom to take some baby classes. With 2 naps, finding a class at just the right time is near impossible. Now, we have a 3-4 free hours in the AM and a class is a great way to fill up some of that time. Or so I thought.

Most mommy-baby classes are designed with a 1:1 ratio in mind. However, the wise members of my MoT group seemed to agree that a music class is very doable (even fun!) with two babes. So, I signed us up. I chose one that was only 6 weeks long (most are 10) because if the kids hated it, I didn't want to be stuck going or out all that money. The rec department in town runs a 6-week one and it's very close to our house so a win-win all around.

Monday was our first class. We got there on time and I got the kids into the room (no easy task, BTW, and I think this may have contributed to some of our problems). There were lots of different instruments for the kids to play with. Sebastian and Collette would both pick one up and then toss it to the floor to try another. But then, Collette set her sights on the instrument the teacher had. A wooden bowling pin shaped thing with a stick - musical people out there probably know what this is called. Anyway, the teacher needed it to sing her songs and keep the rhythm. It was the only instrument that was off limits. And for my little girl, it may as well have been the only thing in the room.

Things went pretty down hill from there. Thankfully, Sebastian, just ignored the class half the time and quietly explored the room with one of the shakers in his hand. But Collette just couldn't settle in. The only thing that made her happy was if I held her and stood up. And even then she wasn't always happy. She was fussing so much I had to take her out of the room for a few minutes and I gave her a little snack. And then 10 minutes later had to do the same thing with both of them - thank God I brought enough!

As the class was winding down (and I was holding Collette, again), Sebastian started to fuss. At one point, I thought he was going to throw a temper tantrum right in the middle of the circle but he kept it together enough that we could finish the class. Overall, I don't think either of them really enjoyed it.

I have a few ideas to make it better for next time. I will use the correct entrance so I can bring the stroller into the room. (The way I came in, I was on a whole level above the room and was not about to bring my stroller down the stairs) I might get there early and give them snack right before class. At least they will have full tummies. Other than that, I'm not sure what I can do to make the experience a better one for them. I was almost in tears at how badly it was going. It's so discouraging to go through all this effort to do something fun for your kids and have them act like its torture. So, any words of wisdom? I don't want to quit because I know that they will probably to a little better each time. But, I don't want a repeat of last week either.

O.N.E. = O.M.G.

I couldn't even post yesterday there was so much going on. Sebastian and Collette turned one!! I can't even believe it. I won't say all those cliche things about how fast they are growing up or how it felt like just yesterday we were holding them in the hospital. Mostly because I don't find those things to be true. It has been an amazing year, to be sure, but at the same time it has been a lot of work - the kind that certainly feels like 12 months.

Very first picture of Sebastian

Very first picture of Collette

I wasn't sure if I would get really emotional on their birthday. Leading up to it, I was sure I wouldn't. I didn't get choked up at the thought or start to reminisce about their newborn days. But, at a MOT meeting, someone was passing on a twin breast feeding pillow. The same one that I had. The one I had given to another MOT. And she gave to another. And now that MOT was the one with it tonight, already passing it on to the next lucky mommy. And I had to blink back the tears. It was like seeing a little piece of our history that seemed so far away but there it was, staring me in the face. We have come so far since then; it feels like remembering something you saw in a movie, not something you actually lived.

And then yesterday (their birthday), it was Billy's turn to "sleep in" while I got the babies up. As usual, they stood up in their cribs as soon as they heard the door open, all smiles and squinty eyes. I started to sing "Happy Birthday" to them but couldn't finish it, I was so overwhelmed. With excitement. With joy. With pride. My babies had made it to one year and we were all happy and healthy and enjoying life as it is. What more could a mom ask for?

The rest of the day was spent getting ready for the party, having the party, cleaning up the mess from the party and recovering from the party. I know it's no excuse (especially during NaBloPoMo!!) but blogging was just not part of my recovery plan. My house is still a disaster from the amazing generosity of friends and family. We will have to give away some old toys that will be replaced by all the awesome new stuff we got. Of course, with another nugget on the way, I am nervous to get rid of anything because for all I know, it could be #3's favorite. But, my toy/stroller/clothes hoarding is a topic for another post.

So, we made it. 1 year. 12 months. 365 days. 525,600 minutes. In that time we have learned:

To drink
To nap
To sleep through the night
To eat
To babble
To splash
To roll
To crawl
To stand
To clap
To play
To laugh
To love

And a million more. I can't even imagine how amazing this next year will be. Happy First Birthday Sebastian! Happy First Birthday Collette!

In Da Klub

A few months back, when it was so hot I couldn't stay inside my house or go outside, I joined a very well air conditioned indoor play space. Another twin momma friend of mine joined, too, and now we kind of make a thing of it, doing a play date there at least once a week. It's been especially great as the kids get bigger and more mobile, need more room to roam.

Over the weekend, the weather was awful and I decided it was time for Daddy to experience a day in the life of a SAHM - so we all went to the Klubhouse. And took some pictures. For your viewing pleasure :)

WTF?

Ok, maybe I am overreacting.  It's been known to happen.  But I am seriously put off by a seemingly harmless email someone sent to our mother of twins club listserv.  There was been this thread about delivering twins, started by an expecting MoT who is very close to having her babies.  She was asking for advice about which way to go and, as you could imagine, she has gotten advice from both camps.

My issue is with this one responder.  She started her response by saying that since she got pregnant with her twins "without any help from outside sources" that "it only made sense to deliver them without any help from outside sources" - the fuck??  Some of you are probably thinking, "um, I don't get it, what's the problem??"  But you have to realize that when you are part of a mother of twins club in the wonderful state of Massachusetts where we have ART covered by insurance, you are going to be in the company of a lot of people who "needed help from outside sources."  How is that supposed to make us feel??  Since we had to deal with IF and daily injections and surgeries and FAR too many vaginal ultrasounds, it "only makes sense" that we should also have some scalpel-happy OB slice through our abdomens and birth our long-awaited children that way.  I mean, it only makes sense.

And what about the others who also conceived "without help from outside sources" but, for whatever reason, didn't deliver without help?  Are they supposed to feel like they went against nature?

To be honest, this says far more about me than it does about this woman - I know she didn't intend to hurt anyone's feelings.  But I still have a lot of not-so-fun feelings re: IF - I don't think it's something I will ever "get over" but I don't cry about it every day either.  It is what it is.  I also have unresolved feelings about not being able to deliver without help.  It was my plan all along to have a vaginal delivery and for a number of reasons, it didn't work out that way.  But even though I am a bit hypersensitive when it comes to these subjects, I don't think I'm alone in this group.  And I would certainly keep that in mind before spouting off about what makes sense and what doesn't.  This is a group meant for support and I think when people get too caught up in what they do/did and what they believe, they can often forget about the people they are trying to help.

PS: You don't need to tell me I'm crazy.  I already know.  Rant over.

I'm like a baby expert now!

OK, I'm not really a baby expert.  Unless you define baby expert as one who refers others to true professionals like Dr. Karp and Dr. Weissbluth.

But seriously, I was feeing like an expert this weekend when I attended out Mother of Twins Club new member brunch.  I was invited to attend as a "veteran" member (I joined a little over a year ago, while I was preggers) and welcome in the newbie twin moms.  Some were pregnant with their twins and many had their twins within the past year. 

The women at my table all had babies under 7 months old so I felt like I had a lot to offer in terms of infant-twin-rearing wisdom.  One mom especially was in the weeds.  Her girls are 5 weeks old.  The last of her "help" (her parents, in this case) had just left.  And she is breastfeeding.  To be honest, she was doing a great job!  BFing twins is no easy task.  So, we all reassured her that she was doing AWESOME.  But, like any new mom, she wanted some guidance on how to do things better and maybe get a glimpse at the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.  Even though I didn't nurse my kids, I still felt I was able to give her a lot of good advice on the other aspects of parenting infants.  Like sleep issues.  Always a big one with new moms.  Sleep for their little ones translates to sleep for them so its critical that moms get their babies to snooze.  At the end of the brunch, I think she felt better, like at least she walked away with some ideas on how to make things run smoother at home.  Hopefully they work out for her and soon enough, these early weeks will be distant memory for her.

For me, it was great to be on the other side of things.  Finally, I'm the one with knowledge about babies and I can help out other moms who don't know what they are doing.  I was there some months ago and it sucks.  I mean, being a mom is great - I really love it.  But no one likes feeling as if they have no control, like they are just keeping their head above water because they have no idea what they are doing.  So, in that sense, being a new parent kinda sucks.  Lots of doubt, lots of questions, lots of frustration.  I asked other moms, especially other twin moms, for SO MUCH advice in those early months and it was invaluable.  Now that I have learned a thing or two about this mom gig, I can pay it forward.

I Love the Taste of Foot

We went out Saturday night with friends of ours - two couples and all of us first time parents as of 2008. So naturally, we spend lots of time talking about our kids and parenthood in general.

One of the guys was telling us how a co-worker of his takes turns with his wife on the weekends over caring for their baby - she will do Saturday and he will do Sunday while the other has the day off. He was saying how crazy that seemed because that way, they never get to spend time with each other! I agreed and said, "No offense, but is it really so diffiuclt taking care of a baby??" This did not go over well. It sounded like I meant it's not hard to take care of one baby as opposed to more than one baby, like I do. Not what I meant at all. I meant that I don't believe parenting, in general, is so overwhelmingly difficult that it requires a whole day off from it every week, especially if that means spending it alone. I'd like to think that most people agree with me and, had they understood my intended meaning, I think our friends would have. I know that they enjoy being parents, even through the tougher times, just like I do.

But instead, they all thought I was just being that twin mom with the chip on her shoulder, thinking people with one baby should realize how easy they have it. And the reality is, I spend a lot of time watching what I say just so people won't think that about me. Sigh.

So, two questions: Do other MoMs out there bite their tongues but inevitably slip a foot in their mouths when it comes to discussing the difficulties of parenting? And do singleton moms think that mothers of multiples are always rubbing it in that we have it harder?

Meant for Twins

Us twin moms (and I bet a lot of moms in general) are quite resourceful. Juggling two little babies is as much mental as it is physical and we are always thinking of ways to make things work for 2 at a time.

Lucky for us, though, some things lend themselves very easily to duets. Here are the Soto Twins, using my beloved pregnancy body pillow to "catch" them when they tip during some sitting play-time.

And here they are with Ned and Penny (in the back) of Mommy Esq. fame, taking their first ever swing ride! (The one hour the sun was out in the past 2 weeks was the one day I didn't have sun hats...) You can't see his face in this shot but Sebastian REALLY loved it - we need to find a swing like this close to our house.

Wordful Wednesday: Coming Full Circle

When I was learning to drive, my parents had a super-cool Plymouth Voyager. With faux wood grain stripe on the side. Naturally, I didn't care too much, so long as I got to learn to drive. And I did learn to drive the behemoth. And then I got my own car - a convertible! woo hoo!! - and was free from looking like a Suburban Soccer Mom. Until now.

Our lease on our Equinox is up in May so we decided to start test driving cars now. We thought we would look at some SUVs and some minivans. But, after a bit of thinking, it was clear that going the minivan route made the most sense. We settled on the Toyota Sienna and started the paperwork this weekend. We would have finished the paperwork but, much to the salesman's dismay, the babies needed to get home for bedtime and signing papers would have taken too long. So, as of this Friday (when we pick up the car with Daddy), I will have officially come full circle. From learning to back the Voyager into our parking space and merging with highway traffic with my nervous mom in the passenger seat, to being the mom worrying about her kids safety in the back - and I'm only 27. Yikes!

I'll be sure to post some pics of the twins in our new ride. Still can't believe I'm excited about a minivan...but I really am!

***
I have to give a shout out to my fellow MOTS and bloggers for a fun night-out yesterday. It's so nice to see adults that I'm not related/married to - no offense Mom, sister, husband. Because we have these two thing in common, blogging and mothering twins, it makes talking and getting to know each other very easy and relaxed. Definitely no small talk at this table. Also, I had two adult beverages (hurrah!!) and was not hungover this morning so that's a success in my book. Ya, doesn't take much these days. So, thanks Goddess in Progress, Mommy Esq., The Finbergs, What a Card, Zimmer Zoo and Snickollet. Zimmer Zoo has photographic evidence of the event - we all look so happy to be out!

Join in the Wordful Wednesday fun at Seven Clown Circus and see who else is playing, too!