Sympathy Pregnancy

As Sebastian and Collette get older and understand more, I try to be as honest with them as possible.  It can be hard to talk about grown up things at a level they can understand but they often surprise by how much they understand.

I told them about the coming baby, that it's in my belly and all that.  They seem to understand and remember when I ask them about it.  And because the first trimester always kicks my ass, I have told them that the baby can make mommy feel sick and tired sometimes. 

In light of this, Collette has developed a sympathy pregnancy.  She, too, has a baby in her belly - a baby girl, at that - and her baby is making her tummy "ouchy" and also making her sleepy.  I guess she is also in her first trimester.

It's things like this that make me really love the stage they are in right now.  Too darn cute!

I guess it was meant to be

A week ago, I had a feeling something wasn't right.  In the lady department.  One of those "I'm sure everything is fine but I should just check, you know, to be sure" type of things.  A quick trip to CVS and then to the bathroom and three minutes later, I am faced with this:

If your first thought after seeing this was HOLY F*CK!!! then we are on the same page.  I called Billy, crying hysterically, apologizing and basically just being crazy.  Typical pregnant person stuff.  He talked me down and I was able to keep my head out the oven.

You see, this wasn't supposed to happen.  We had a DOCTOR - a specialist, no less! - tell us that this was not supposed to happen.  Or at least, it would probably take a long, long time.  And I know this happens all the time.  Couple struggles with IF for X years, does treatments, has a one (or two or three...) babies with some help and them BOOM - surprise pregnancy.  But I thought, based our our IF circumstances, that this would not be our case.  It wasn't some hormonal thing, or some unexplained thing that could change whenever.  It was just a very, very small chance of it happening "naturally" for us.  So, you can imagine my surprise to see that stick telling me I'm pregnant after just three short months of returned fertility (breast feeding moms know what I'm talking about).

As a friend of mine put it, I should buy lottery tickets.  And Lord knows we'll need those winnings to send four kids to college.  Oy.

Now that a week has passed, I'm feeling much better and I'm getting really excited about adding a new little one to our family.  It will be crazy, for sure, but I know we can handle it.  The baby is due sometime in June so it will be a LONG summer home alone with four kids but at least we can play outside.  Visitors will be welcome!  And your morale-boosting comments are much appreciated, as well.

What a way to get back to blogging, huh?? :)

Here...We...Go!

At 5:50 this morning, we called the hospital and finally got the go ahead to come in for our induction. We live just a couple minutes from the hospital so we had plenty of time this morning to get ready for our big day. My parents came over just before we headed out to take over twin duty and Auntie Kim is also on her way.

(Billy and I on our way to the hospital. And my mom's fingertip)

As I write this, I am hooked up to the pitocin. Not the way I wanted this labor to go down but Matteo is just a stubborn little boy. I am still only 1-2cm dilated and about 70% effaced which means I have made no progress since Tuesday! I think he would have waited until Labor Day if we had let him. Contractions really haven't started yet but it's only been about 15 minutes or so since they hooked me up. Wish me luck!!

(21st century momma!)

Toddlers are weird

Just to get this out of the way, yes I'm still pregnant. Yes, that means I am 41 weeks and 1 day along. Tomorrow (Monday) we will try for the third time to get me into the hospital to be induced. I have nothing more to say about it at this point. But rest assured I will put up a post right before we leave for the hospital, one way or the other.

Anyway, to the topic of the post: Toddlers are weird. This one is mainly about Sebastian. Not that Collette doesn't have her adorable quirks but Sebastian is exhibiting a few that I really don't want to forget:

1. He will only eat from the kiddie spoons with yellow in them. We have 4 plastic spoons that they use for their morning oatmeal (they scoop and hold better than their PBKids metal spoons) and two have yellow in them; the other two do not. I can't remember when started to obsess over the yellow spoons but trust me, those are the only two he will use.
2. He is constantly kissing inanimate objects. First it was pictures (I taught them both to kiss a picture of their daddy), then it was stuffed animals but now it has progressed into the random. Like the table. Or the floor. Or a cup. So odd but still, so cute.
3. At dinner, he refuses to eat anything on a spoon (even a yellow one!) - it must be finger food or fork food. If he sees a bowl and a spoon waiting at the table, he starts to cry. If I take what's in the bowl (meat, veggies, rice, etc.) and put it on a plate with a fork, he runs right over to gobble it up.

And I know this list will only get longer as the toddler months continue! What weirdness are your toddlers displaying these days?

The Waiting Game

Well, my "scheduled" induction has come and gone. The hospital was too full today and so we will try again first thing tomorrow morning. I have my alarm set to 6am so I can call and see if there is space available for me. In other words, hurry up and wait.

To be honest, I really don't want to be induced. I hear all these pitocin horror stories and I just want Matteo to come the normal way. Go into labor, work through it, push, push, push, have a baby. The hospital and the OB are there just in case something goes awry but otherwise, I view them as unnecessary. Perhaps I should have found a midwife for this pregnancy but its too late for that now. I never thought I would make it this far - its rather odd to be on the other side, waiting for a baby to come instead of praying it stays in. And I know, no matter what, once he comes everyone will be happy, blah, blah, blah. As long as he's healthy, blah, blah, blah. But I think its unfair how people discount the unique experience of giving birth. Of course I want a healthy baby and of course I will be happy as soon as he comes out but that doesn't change the fact that I also have certain feelings about his actual birth. About my labor and my body and my experience.

I have tried some things to help get labor going but to no avail. LOTS of walking (hello, I have two 20 month olds!), eating spicy food, nipple stimulation (via the good old breast pump - and boy, was that weird after all this time). But still, nothing. Though, some progress has been made. As of Tuesday, I was almost 2cm dilated and 70% effaced. Last night, I had my "bloody show" - sorry if that's TMI! I'm hoping that means I am nearly 100% effaced and maybe even more dilated. Ideally, I would just go into labor tonight and not have to worry about any of the induction stuff. Only time will tell...

Here is a pic of me this afternoon, 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Holy belly!


Off to try and get some sleep. Lord knows I will need it if they take me in tomorrow!

We're Ready!

With Matteo's due date officially on the horizon (tomorrow!!!), we have just finally finished preparing for his arrival. Not that all of it was necessary but I'm glad that everything on my "get done before you have this baby" wish list is actually complete. Even a pedicure! (Thanks, Fav Auntie!).

Matteo's room is not 100% tidied up but beyond ready for what he will need. I still have some hand-me-downs to wash but they are mostly 12-month clothes so no rush. Otherwise, we're ready to go. Sheets are clean, dresser is built and full, windows are dressed, etc., etc. As promised, here is a picture of the finished product:

Hopefully you can make out that it is a jungle theme - Fav Auntie even got us some real-life animal photos that are hanging above the dresser.

But before Matteo gets whisked away to this magical jungle, he gets the privilege of sleeping in my closet. Yes, he will be bunking in there, in a bassinet, so I can easily get up to feed him but we have a door to keep his baby noises a little quieter while we try to sleep. Here is the set up so far, complete with glider:


Hopefully, this will work out for us. Most people I mentioned it to were not horrified, as I imagined they might be, but agreed that it was a good idea. We shall see.

In birth plan/VBAC news, my OB is letting me go until Wednesday before trying to induce with pitocin. In the meantime, I have an non-stress test and ultrasound scheduled for Monday and an appointment with her scheduled on Tuesday. I was only 1cm dialated and 50% effaced at my appointment this past Wednesday so there is a chance it could come down to my being induced. I hope that's not the case, though. We are hoping for him to make his way on Sunday. It's a very special day on the Mayan calendar (don't ask...) and my mom has the day off so win-win.

For now, I'm off to bed, thinking contracting thoughts. We're ready Tater Tot - are you??

Not Yet

I realize I have not posted in a while and thought that might give the impression that I was too busy having a baby to blog. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Still very much pregnant through yet another heat wave. F*** you, summer!

Quick updates, as it's late and I'm sleepy:

Next OB appointment is Wednesday where I will get another internal exam and hopefully get some reconfirmation that Matteo is head down. Also, I spoke with my OB about different scenarios and it seems that there is certainly wiggle room on when I can go into labor - she will let me go up to about a week late, depending on other factors. She also said if need be, we could try inducing with Pitocin but nothing stronger than that. So, good news for a VBAC.

Also, I feel gross writing this but I want to be an honest pregnant woman and tell it like it is. Sometimes, it feels like the baby is pushing down so much he might fall out. The closest comparison I can make is when you put a tampon in but can still feel it, like you did it wrong and didn't get it in the right way. Like I said, gross but honest. It's a very odd feeling and one I'm hoping means that he is almost ready to make his debut.

In toddler news, Sebastian and Collette have both "learned" a number. That number is 2. They skipped right over 1 which I suppose is appropriate, with them being twins and all. I guess that means they should hurry up and learn 3. Sebastian also knows the letter C. Not sure if Collette knows that one as she is not as eager to label things - she is way too cool for that. They are adding vocabulary more quickly, in general, but still not putting two words together so still much progress to make on the speech front. Quite frankly, I'm not that worried about it anymore. They understand so much of what I say and what Billy says to them in Spanish that I think the rest is just a matter of time. We'll continue speech therapy as long as they qualify through EI because I like the services and the feedback but I won't be stressing about it. I have enough to worry about with a baby on the way! :)

Last thing - we are almost done Matteo's room so I will post pictures soon. It's livable but we still have some decorative things to put up.

Stay cool! I'm off to Lala-land...

38 Weeks and Counting

I just got back from my OB appointment and not much going on. She didn't do an internal exam and I got the impression that she wouldn't do another one. Blood pressure and weight were fine and no protein in the urine so still smooth sailing.

Also, I must have misunderstood when she said I would have an ultrasound around 38 weeks because she said they will do one when I get to the hospital and am in labor to double check the Matteo's position. If at that point they see that he is breech, they will get the OR ready for a repeat c-section. To be honest, I'm kind of bummed because I would like a little more heads up than that. Either way, I'm sure everything will be fine but I am mentally preparing for a VBAC and will be very disappointed if I can't have one.

I realized I haven't talked a lot about why I am so intent on having this baby the old-fashioned way. So, here are my reasons:

1. My first c-section was traumatic. Not so much the operation itself, although that was no fun. Being pinned down crucifix-style and vomiting off to the side while your baby is being born is not what we all dream about. The recovery was the really traumatic part, most of which had to do with my blood pressure/preeclampsia but still. Those memories will always be associated with the c-section and its hard for me to separate the two. I'm sure labor will be painful like I can't even imagine but so was trying to walk to the bathroom for the first time after the twins were born. It was excruciating and humiliating and not something I want to relive, regardless of how painful labor will be. I'd rather have the pain giving birth than after the baby is here. I don't want my pain to get in the way of caring for him. (I know that I probably won't experience that same kind of pain if I have a c-section this time, but like I said, it's hard for me to separate the two in my mind)
2. I'm curious to know what labor feels like. That may sound silly but it's the truth.
3. I'd rather let Matteo come on his time than on my time. Having premature babies who had no interest in leaving the womb, this issue is a sensitive one for me. So, if he wants to cook until the end of July, so be it! (Although I'd be cool if he were ready to come some time next week. I promise I'll have clean clothes for you, TaterTot)
4. I don't like doctors and an operation involves a lot more doctors than a traditional birth. I assume that there is more doctor follow up after as well, but that's just my guess. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
   

And here is my latest belly picture, taken at 37 weeks, 1 day (I'm 38 weeks as of tomorrow). Holy stretch marks!


I look so much bigger than last month. Yikes!

The Countdown Is On!

I have 29 more days until Matteo is supposed to be here. I'm hoping its a few shy of 29 because I can't be induced (VBAC rules) and I need to go into labor by or before my due date. So, let the countdown begin!

I had my 36 week exam yesterday and everything looks good. Weight and BP are good. Matteo is head down - hurrah! - and my OB thiks he will engage within the next week and hopefully be stuck in that position. She also told me that we'll probably do an ultrasound at 38 weeks to "make sure" that he is head down and check his weight. This came as a surprise because earlier she told me my only ultrasound would be the 18 week one. And while I was very fed up with all the ultrasounds for S & C, I am very excited to get one last sneak peak at Tater Tot before he makes his debut.

Thanks Guys!

Earlier, I was looking at one of my FB albums labeled "6 months and counting" and it got me all teary-eyed. Sebastian and Collette just looked so small and cuddly. They were learning how to eat "solid" food. Smiling at each other. Wiggling and jumping (in the baby contraptions). For a second, I almost missed them at that age. (Good thing I'm having another one, right?!)

Later this morning, however, they did something cool and all grown up. They climbed into their own high chairs for the first time. And then I was brought back to reality. My kids are growing up and learning new things, often without me even trying to teach it to them. And I love it. I'm glad that I don't have to pick them up to get in the chairs anymore - it's been murder on my back lately. And it's really cute to watch them climb.

And in other "growing up" news, both Sebastian and Collette did a superb job holding hands and walking through the parking lots yesterday. I have only been practicing with Collette but decided to take advantage of a 1:1 ratio and have both walk. I was with Sebas and I was amazed at how well he did. He's a lot slower than his sister so I have to remember to walk slowly but he held my hand without objection and that's really all that matters.

So, S & C, thank you for making life a little easier for your (very pregnant) momma. I really appreciate it!!

Lost in Translation

As I mentioned a few posts ago, Sebastian and Collette have been making good progress on the communication front. Things are still going well, both with words and signs, and I think Sebastian may soon eclipse Collette in the spoken word category - go figure!

One of their newest signs is "thank you" which is a good thing but also a tricky thing, for a few reasons. First off, it looks a lot like blowing a kiss so I'm not sure they know the difference. They also don't really understand the concept of thank you, as in only the receiver needs to say it, not the giver as well. I suppose I should teach them "you're welcome" but all that seems pretty high brow for 18 month olds. Then again, what do I know. The other issue is with what deserves a "thank you" - both Sebastian and Collette seem to be under the impression that whenever you get something, even if it's by force, you say thank you. Kind of like a bank robber thanking the teller very much for all that cash. We're working on no toy stealing but at least when they do it, they're polite about it...?

***

I got yelled at by one of my sisters for not posting enough pictures of the twins. My reasons are two-fold: I'm lazy/unmotivated to take pictures and they are horrible subjects. Video would be much more appropriate but you have to be sneaky which I am not. I do have some photos from the past few weeks and, although they are completely unrelated to this post, I will share a couple with you anyway. You're welcome.

First dip of the season

Totally cheating at Cornhole

PS - Matteo has decided that my bladder makes an awesome toy. I almost peed in my pants today, literally. Not sure I can make it 6 more weeks with no accidents. *sigh*

Like Mother, Like Son

A few months ago, I was poking around the maternity section of Sears and noticed these mommy-baby matching outfits: a nursing type "dress" for mommy and a onesie for the baby. I had never noticed these while I was pregnant with the twins and it wouldn't have done me much good, anyway, because it only comes with the one onesie. Anyhoo, I went back and bought a set for me and Matteo. It was the only boy design they had but the little elephant works with his jungle themed* room.



Don't be surprised if every postpartum picture of me features this number. I doubt I'll be doing a lot of laundry.

*We are still only part way done decorating Matteo's room. I'll be sure to post pics as soon as its complete!

32 Weeks: Belly Pic

My belly at 32 weeks:


My guess is that I am still measuring right on time, which is perfect. Since I was measuring about 6 weeks ahead with the twins, this is as it should be for my body and one baby. Although being sick and not eating more than toast for 3 days definitely set my weight back a bit. And I'm slightly anemic. But nothing some iron supplements can't help.

So, it seems that all is back to normal and I can just try and do my best to get through these next 8 weeks. It is getting increasingly difficult to do certain tasks, like washing dishes (my belly is the same height as the counter-top), laundry (I can't reach the bottom of the laundry sorter), lifting Sebastian and Collette, and anything else that involves bending over. I remember when I was pregnant with the twins, bending over wasn't so bad - I did the "stripper" bend where I would crouch and come up butt first and then stand straight. But when I have to bend down and pick up toys about 20,530 times per day, that's just not gonna happen. Either way, my back is mad at me and I'm mad at all the toys. And dirty dishes. And dirty clothes. It's gonna be a long 8 weeks... :)

The Verdict Is In

And I'm just sick. For the third time. You have got to be freakin' kidding me! Of course, I'm very happy that it's this and not preeclampsia again. My BP was 121/75 (which I'm told is normal), there was no protein in my urine and my OB is pretty sure the blood test for liver function will come back fine. So, for now, I'm just stuck at home, feeling like crap and hoping that if I crank my central AC enough, it will actually make our third floor playroom bearable. We have a portable AC unit for up there but were not prepared for 90 degree weather in May and the unit is in the basement. Sigh.

Thank you all SO MUCH for your well wishes and concern for me and Matteo. I'm usually a pretty easy going gal when it comes to medical stuff but this had me pretty scared. Your comments helped perk me up, so thank you again.

Worried

So far, this has been a very easy pregnancy. Besides the two stomach viruses I contracted from the kids, it has been smooth sailing. That is, until now.

On Saturday night/Sunday morning, I wasn't feeling well. My stomach hurt and I couldn't sleep. Sunday was a wash of a day for me but the rest I got seemed to help. Monday was much better but not 100%. Still, I was pretty sure it was just one of those things that comes and goes, no harm done.

But yesterday, towards the end of nap time, I started feeling shitty again. And it really hasn't gone away. I have had slight headaches, nausea, stomachaches and, just recently, thanks to an extra special poopy diaper, vomiting. I am just hoping against hope that my BP is in check because 31.5 weeks is way to early for this baby to come. Not to mention that I have NO IDEA what I will do if I have to go on bed rest to keep him in longer. For now, I try to keep thinking happy thoughts and take it as easy as I can in 90 degree weather with two 18 month olds. I go in for a check up at 10am - wish me and Matteo luck!

Hello Third Trimester!

I have passed the 26 week mark with Tater Tot and am officially in my third trimester. I haven't written much about this pregnancy because there has been so little to report. My belly gets bigger, as it should. Matteo moves around a lot, as he should. I was up 18 lbs. as of my last appointment, so all is normal there. Only change now is that I have to see my OB every 2 weeks (seems like so much now!) instead of every 4. At least there are no more scheduled ultrasounds - I hated those last time.

Part of what makes this pregnancy seemingly uneventful is that it's my second pregnancy. I'm sure most women feel this way, to a certain extent, the second (and third, fourth...!) go around. But I know that this pregnancy seems easier because it's just one. I'm just much more comfortable overall. And I keep waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop - like one day I will have awful sciatic nerve pain or my back will hurt so much I won't be able to lift up my kids. Only time will tell, I guess. In the meantime, I can be thankful for two pretty easy trimesters.

Also, I can't shake the feeling that I will delivery early. The idea of NOT going to 40 weeks is so burned in my brain that I just can't get it out. Whenever I think about my due date, it's always hypothetical, like "well, I'm due on July 24th but really, it could be any time in July, maybe even June." We are finally putting together Matteo's nursery next week (Billy is on vacation, woot woot!) so perhaps that will put my mind at ease.

21 Weeks Belly Picture

Here I am at 21 weeks (1 week ago) - definitely showing plenty but not too big yet, thank goodness! So far, I've only put on about 10 lbs. It's hard to eat as much as I should when there are so many other things to do. Darn kids. But I'll be stocking the house with ice cream and cookies, so that shouldn't be a problem going forward. So far so good with everything else. Keeping my fingers crossed that this pregnancy keeps going so smoothly!

15 Month Check Up and Other Thoughts

Today we finally had our 15 month check up with Dr. C - only 3 weeks late but hey, who's counting? Stats are as follows:

Collette
26 lbs (90th percentile)
33 in. (99th percentile - Daddy's girl!)

Sebastian
22.5 lbs (30th percentile)
31.5 in. (70th percentile)

That's the good news. The bad news is that they both have some form of bronchiolitis (but not RSV). She said that the cough could last about 3 weeks and I estimate they have had it for about 2. She said we should hold off on antibiotics for a week and see if it resolves itself. For the most part, they have been in good spirits so I'm very much in favor of no meds. But if in a week it doesn't go away, we will have to bring in big guns. Keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't come to that.

Also, because they are sick and could get an ear infection as a result of the bronchiolitis, Dr. C decided to hold off on the shots. She didn't want the kids to get a fever and then have me wonder if its due to the vaccines or if it means they got an ear infection. So, back in two weeks for the fun stuff.

And now for the very good news: Dr. C is pregnant. WITH TWINS!! As soon as she walked in the room, I thought she was preggo. The little bump on her skinny frame was certainly not from a big lunch but was still too small for me to ask. Luckily, she brought it up and told me the good news. But guess what: she is 24 weeks! And barely has a bump! I am 21 weeks with ONE baby and look a lot more pregnant than she does. Then again, I am 5'4" and she is 6'2" (no joke) so its totally unfair all around. This does mean that she won't get to meet Tater Tot until she comes back from maternity leave (if?) so that's a bit sad but I am, of course, very happy to welcome her into the world of MOT-hood.

Somewhat related. I wanted to ask her if she used ART for her twins. They are fraternal which always makes me think that it might be the case. I didn't ask because I didn't want to pry although I doubt she would have minded. But I got to thinking: is the whole ART thing in kind of a snowball effect? I feel like I am always hearing about more and more twins and I know it is in part due to ART. I wonder if, as more people do it, the stigma of seeing a fertility doctor has gone away a bit. Or maybe hearing about and knowing people who have used ART, it makes others more likely to pursue it and pursue it sooner than they would have otherwise. We waited less than a year before seeing a RE (shhh, don't tell Aetna!) and maybe that is a growing trend. In this state, it certainly helps that insurance covers ART but I think that's just part of the reason. If I'm right and people feel more comfortable seeing a RE these days, then that makes me very happy. If millions of people can talk about taking Viagra, then (in)fertility should be ok to talk about, too.

It's A...

BOY!! (yes, that's the proof. no, this is not kiddie p0rn)

Mateo Soto is very pleased to introduce himself here on the blog. If all goes well, his next photo-op will be on his birthday.

17 Weeks Belly Shot

One week late but here it is! Sadly, I don't think I look much bigger than my 12 week picture. I'm so used to a huge twin belly, I can barely believe I'm still sleeping on my stomach at this point. But this time, I guess I'll be pregnant for 6 WEEKS LONGER than I was with the twins so I should be glad everything is going slower. :)

Also, I have been feeling this little nugget move around - very cool! Billy is jealous because he can't feel it through my stomach but hey, us girls need to have some perks if we're in charge of actually growing and housing the new human.

Saturday we find out if it's a boy or a girl - any guesses??